Let's Talk Red Flags
Are you feeling dissatisfied in your current relationship? Do you frequently find yourself in tears as of late? At times it can be difficult to decipher whether you and your S.O. are experiencing a rough patch or if it’s time to call it quits. In hopes of easing your relationship burdens, we curated a list of five no-gos in a partnership. Perhaps it’s time to wave that white flag of surrender, or maybe your relationship is worth fighting for. Don’t worry: we’ve all been there.
Poor Communication Skills
Substantial and consistent communication is key in a healthy relationship. If you often feel like you’re in the dark or you’re constantly worrying about where you stand in your relationship, change is needed. You deserve to be able to pour your heart out about anything and everything with your partner. There should be persisting gratification and reassurance exchanges between the two of you. In a wholesome partnership, no game playing or suppressed feelings are allowed. Transparency is truly key. If you communicate your feelings head-on (rather than waiting for it to develop into a grudge) then they become easier to voice out loud, saving you from those recurring arguments.
Trust Issues
Feel like you’re walking on eggshells? If you’re repeatedly being accused of untrustworthiness for no solid reason, that’s an issue. In a mutually loving relationship, there’s no room for questions about fidelity. Jealousy can be emotionally exhausting. If you trust your partner and know where you stand with each other, there is no reason to question their faithfulness. Besides, if you think that poorly about their character, it might be time to consider why you’re even together to begin with. It’s also worth noting how discouraging it is to be accused of being disloyal (without cause) and having to relentlessly convince them otherwise. Either way, a relationship cannot exist without trust.
Disconnection
Whether the disconnect is between you and your partner or you and your loved ones, there should be plenty of room to cultivate growth in all of your relationships. If you find yourself wanting to spend more time with your friends in order to avoid spending time with your partner… red flag. If you’ve been dating your partner for a while and realize you never spend time with your friends or family anymore… red flag! No one should ever feel like they have to choose between their boyfriend or girlfriend, best friend, and family. If your S.O. doesn’t allow you to spend time with friends or go visit your family on the weekend, that’s a HUGE no.
Problems with Priorities
Have you noticed your partner struggling to remember important things you opened up to them about? Are they disinterested in the conversation topics you’re bubbly with passion for? Your partner should be actively listening to you, particularly when chatting about something that’s of evident significance to you. Feeling like you’re not a priority to them is draining, especially if they are one of yours. If they don’t make time for you, even just a thirty-minute FaceTime call, this is a red flag that they might not be prioritizing your relationship and it’s worth a conversation.
Wishing Your Partner Would Change
This is a huge one. When you choose to be with someone and fall in love, you must accept them for who they are. Sure, people have differences and nobody is perfect, but you have to be willing to appreciate their flaws while enjoying their positive traits. Learn to love the characteristics that define them—the quirks that make them who they are. If your mind wanders to, “He would be perfect if he just didn’t express himself that way,” or, “I don’t know if her ambitions are big enough,” maybe you should consider reevaluating the compatibility. Sometimes people are willing to sacrifice certain wants for the people they love, but hoping to change the fundamental aspects of a person—that doesn’t work.
In the end, the decision is up to you. Relationships can’t always be sunshine and rainbows, but you must be willing to communicate, trust each other, and listen with care. Don’t avoid the hard stuff! Face them head-on, together. Never sacrifice your own happiness simply because you’re comfortable or scared to be alone. You’ve got this.
Written by Lindsey Golden & Kortnie Franzen, Photography by Flora Patterson, Design by Dana Dang, Media by Raylee White