Friday night in College Station: the lights are flashing, the alcohol is flowing, and your newest situationship asks you to be their beer-pong partner. Giddily, you shoot your ping-pong ball and watch it sink into one of the remaining Solo cups. Mr. Dreamy pulls his arm back and launches his ball toward your opponents’ side, and your enamorment swiftly transitions to disgust. His ping-pong ball bounces across the table onto the floor. You look on, nauseated as he scurries after it, repeatedly failing to pick it back up. There’s only one thing that could explain the feeling you just had: the ick.

Losing attraction is an unfortunate but inevitable aspect of many relationships, with causes ranging from simply growing up to uncontrollable life factors. The ick is different. When a sudden situation causes your feelings to sharply shift from desire to revulsion, you have experienced the ick. We’ve seen the concept of icks being explored on social media apps – specifically TikTok – in a variety of ways. One viral trend exploiting this idea was the videos following the script “(s)he’s a [physical rating out of ten], but (s)he [insert an ick here]”. This fad took over many users’ For You pages and was so popular that a filter was created that currently has been used in 1.2 million videos.

You might be asking yourself, is the ick always bad? The short answer is of course not. Certain occasions where you get that sinking stomach feeling associated with being icked out would be better characterized as a gut feeling. Genuine red flags shouldn’t be ignored in a relationship, and some icks illuminate a difference in core values. For example, feeling perturbed when your date is rude or aggressive to a waiter is completely valid. A lack of respect towards wait staff highlights a sense of superiority in someone, and many people wouldn’t want to date someone with a god complex. The same goes for a potential suitor trash-talking your friends. Why would you want to be with someone who doesn’t like the people you’re closest to? Setting standards and following them is a principal part of forming healthy, long-lasting relationships.

However, it is important to ask yourself if you’re setting the bar too high for your relationships. Many of the icks that have gone viral, such as running after the bus or having no one laugh at a joke, are mildly embarrassing events that most people will face at some point. Others, such as using the chocolate menu to pick a treat from a Valentine's Day box, aren’t really cringey at all. Somewhere along the line, this trend transitioned from accenting red flags to genuinely poking fun at mundane actions for a few seconds of internet stardom. Some TikTok users have expressed their distaste for icks through a counter-trend. Recently, more and more videos have been gracing For You pages which seem to challenge the sentiment behind icks. One creator posted a video saying “got into a near death car accident with my girlfriend and she told me we can’t see each other anymore because my body flailing around gave her the ick”. TikToks such as this one point out just how comical some of these really are. Should such ordinary events really be a deciding factor for whether or not you can form an authentic connection with someone?

There’s nothing inherently wrong with having expectations for your possible romantic partners, but they should be based on values that are important to you. It is completely rational to not date someone who is disrespectful or narcissistic. Additionally, you can seek out specific characteristics in a person like charisma or a good sense of humor. However, it is excessive and unrealistic to make people jump through hoops in order to be with you. Perfection is unattainable, accepting someone for their imperfections is what love is all about. Icks shouldn’t limit you from finding that.

Written by Chloe Foster, Photography: Rylie Meek, Social Media: Angela Duplantis

“The Ick” is Icky